I had a little lung biopsy today

I got a call from my NP this morning that those pesky nodules in my left lung have gotten a little larger (I had a CT scan yesterday). She and Dr. A wanted to go ahead and try to biopsy because the radiologist said he thought they could "get them" now just using a needle through the chest wall (vs a more major surgery discussed when they were smaller).  They wanted a biopsy to try to confirm whether it's truly an infection in my lungs (which wouldn't be odd given the immunosuppresant meds I've been on) or is it Hodgkins...

So in I went to UCSF Medical Center (not my original plans for this fine SF day!). The procedure itself was about an hour and a half and it was quite uncomfortable. It was difficult to actually get the needle to the nodes because the lungs are always moving as you breathe, and so are the nodules. So the goal is to get the patient to take consistent amounts of breath as they would on a CT Scan so they have a good "guess" where the nodes are. The docs had to make at least 5 or 6 attempts and may have gotten an okay sample at the very end.  Oh and I wasn't sedated a bit...wide awake for this!  Right off the bat, the pathologist didn't see cancer cells, but there is a lot more studying to be done. They also have to give the sample time to grow (which would happen in the case of an infection).  In the end, we may not have any more decisive answers but we'll wait and see!

Now this weekend, I need to lay low and not pick up anything heavy (Nicholas) so I don't blow up the little puncture from the needle in my lung.  I don't want a readmission from a collapsed lung!

On another note, I wanted to share this deal currently taking place at Athleta (thank you kerry for the alert)!

Let's Light the Night!

On Tuesday, September 17, 2013, Team Invictus will be participating in the Bay Area LLS Light the Night Walk.  Our team page is now active, so if you'd like to join us for the walk or support us by making a donation, please visit this page:  http://pages.lightthenight.org/gba/SanFran13/invictus

This year is particularly exciting for many reasons!

• Caitlin will not be receiving a stem cell transplant and will be able to participate!
• The walk originates at AT&T ballpark (home of the SF Giants) and a portion of the walk takes place on the field itself!
• Caitlin is a 2013 "honored hero" for this event, so our group will have a VIP tent and special attention!
• Nicholas will be an almost-two-year-old (omg!), so we'd like to plan a BIG CELEBRATION for him and for his whole family for persevering through these staggering last two years!!

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

These shoes...

I smiled when I was "shutting down" the house tonight and heading to bed, for I looked down and spotted these little shoes waiting for tomorrow's adventures. Seemingly so small and serene, but really table-kicking, peanut-crushing, slide-climbing enablers!

Pasta with Peas, Asparagus, and Pancetta

Jonathan and I have been making this dish since it was featured on the cover of a Bon Appetit magazine in the Spring of 2010.  It is such a light, refreshing dish (not exactly light in terms of calories!  just light in terms of spring veggies vs. heavy meat sauce!).  We picked up fresh English peas at the farmer's market last weekend so we couldn't NOT make this.  Oh, by the way, we did try to cut back on the fat ever so slightly by subbing half and half for the heavy cream.  But now I'm realizing we could have tried greek yogurt instead.....next time!

Easy Asian Noodle Salads

Have I mentioned that I am currently infatuated with Asian noodle salads?  I make one for lunch at least once a week.  And I'll send one along with J for lunch sometimes too!  They are good hot or cold, a good use of "leftover" veggies in your fridge, and are just so satisfying.  They often look something like this:

Rice noodles with tofu, red pepper and cucumber

Rice noodles with zucchini, red pepper, egg, and green onion

Bean noodles with tofu, red pepper, cucumber, and green onion

I had been using rice noodles, but while at Costco a couple weeks ago we spotted a HUGE bag of bean noodles (we actually thought they were rice noodles).  Both are good, I don't prefer one over the other. I usually make a soy/peanut/ginger dressing and use it coat the noodles, then drizzle a bit more over the veggies (because it's a bit difficult for me to actually incorporate the raw veggies into the noodles, they're kind of stuck together).  My dressing recipe usually goes something like this:

2 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp toasted sesame oil (I just discovered that toasted is sooooo different from plain sesame oil and has so much flavor!)
1 tbsp fresh grated ginger (we buy it in a tube!)
1 tbsp peanut butter
juice of half a lime
sesame seeds
chili flakes

Recently, I tried "low-fat" extra firm tofu which I'm happy to report is totally edible.  I really didn't notice a difference between it and the regular-fat version (4g vs 1.5g fat), but I'm not the world's biggest tofu connoisseur!  I usually put about a tsp of regular sesame oil in a sauté pan and fry the tofu for a few minutes on each side (add lots of pepper and some salt, also chili flakes before frying).  Again, the fried tofu is delicious hot or cold!

father's day!

still waking up from nap....

We had a really nice father's day today.  We had brunch at Foreign Cinema in the Mission and Nicholas had napped in the car on the way there so it was semi-relaxing for mom & dad.  It was so delicious.  Nicholas' had the three course kid's meal:  fresh berry medley, grilled cheese and fries, and two scoops of ice cream!  Afterwards, we were able to grocery shop and play in the afternoon and just enjoy the beautiful SF day!  

Below are some shots of the card that Nicholas and I made.  I got (uh, copied) the idea from this pin.  Those are Nicholas' little hands!   

Colors

We had a colorful Saturday.....first at the Ferry Building Farmer's Market and then finger painting for the first time!

Photo-wha?

I received the results of my skin biopsy today.  It is indeed GVHD!  This is more good than bad.  I'm "glad" I didn't have yet another biopsy just to reveal eczema.  It also shows that the graft is definitely fighting!  The skin rash isn't a huge concern for my medical team right now (although, I had quite liked being able to go out without makeup if that's what I felt like, and now I feel the need to cover up a bit).  But, they do have to treat it and don't really want to increase my steroid or immunosuppressants in order to keep it under control (those two medications would also affect the graft-vs-lymphoma and not allow the new cells to assault the disease to its full potential).  So, I'll start another new med.

There was also discussion today of photopheresis, a therapy in which my blood is taken out of my body, exposed to UV radiation, and then re-infused.  Sounds fun!  The benefit for me is that my immune system is not suppressed for photopheresis, thereby allowing the graft to keep up the good fight.  The downsides....it's a 3-4 hour weekly treatment, I'd possibly need another central line inserted in my chest (blech), and the usual nausea.  The "queue" to get access to the photopheresis machine is quite lengthy though, so there isn't even availability til September-ish.  Far enough away for me to not stress out about it right now.  But, the conversation about it today really drove home the reminder that although I may be considered "in remission," my job these days really still is to just get healthy!!

On to a more exciting topic....the cookies I made yesterday!  They are M&M cookies from the averiecooks blog.  A one-bowl-recipe and extremely easy to whip up.  The secret ingredient is cornstarch!  And oh are they are delish....chewy and thick!  I found a new assortment of M&M colors that make them look extra appealing!  Nicholas brought them to a playdate today and the kids enjoyed the new colors :)

Focus Groups + Other Work

One thing that I try to do with my "spare" time is participate in focus groups.  If you're not familiar with this type of marketing research, they are either one-on-one or interactive groups where a moderator/researcher asks questions and participants give feedback on products, services, etc.  I like giving my opinion, but even more, I like the stipend that is distributed after the discussion :)

So today I was scheduled to do a slightly different type of focus group....a shop-along and in-home visit.  The topic was.....toilet paper!  I was to meet the researcher at my local Safeway and after 45 minutes we'd come to our house for questions/visuals.  Sure, I was a little nervous about the questions getting too "personal" for comfort, but I figured that I have been in the hospital so much now that I have lost a little of my modesty and that I could handle this.  But something really great happened.  The market research company called me and told me that I had been assigned as an alternate, so I wouldn't need to meet at the store, but rather stay home during the requested time period and wait to see if I was needed.  And I wasn't!  So I'll be paid $200 for baking cookies and painting my toenails!!

I put "spare" in quotes above because there is a question on the focus group screeners that always stumps me with regard to my day-to-day time -- my employment status.  The options are usually full-time, part-time, homemaker, temporarily unemployed, etc.  There is nothing that reflects that my full-time job right now is just getting healthy.  In this article in the Life, Interrupted column in the NYT, Suleika Jaouad really articulates well how I'm feeling about not working.  I'm not really restless or bored ever (I guess I take after my mom - I can always find something to do and it's usually not watching tv!), and Nicholas is around a bit during the day for distraction/company.  Right now my focus is being well again.  I'm doing focus groups to try to earn my keep, and am envisioning the day when I can contribute in a more meaningful way.

Speaking of getting healthy, I had another skin biopsy yesterday on my neck.  Lovely.  Now just waiting to hear confirmation of whether or not this rash I have is GVHD.....

PS Nicholas will receive this Craigslist purchase when he gets home today.  It's a ride-on toy and it choo-choos and whistles!  He is going to shriek!

Asian Mango Slaw & Grilled Skirt Steak

We like to cook on Sundays....we either prep something for Nicholas for the week or make a dinner for us that will last a couple nights.  Last night we recreated this Asian Mango Cabbage Slaw and topped it with Alton Brown's Grilled Skirt Steak.  I did add ginger and crushed red chile flakes to the dressing and next time might add thinly sliced red peppers and/or jalepeno to the slaw.  For protein, I would also top with shrimp or toss in thinly sliced or shredded chicken.  Yum!  I'm on an Asian kick and it did not disappoint! 

Oh, and here are a couple pics of our little SoccerTot :)

Weekend Things

I LOVE Chipotle burritos.  Jonathan really likes them as well.  So naturally, when we heard that they were hosting a festival here in Golden Gate Park, we were very excited.  We headed there on Saturday.  Nicholas got to make a t-shirt and draw with chalk, and all of us enjoyed a rice bowl from Chipotle's new Asian-themed chain (ShopHouse Kitchen, which is currently only in DC but is expanding!).  We also got a couple coupons for free burritos, who hoo!

On Sunday, we went to a picnic in Golden Gate Park for the LLS honorees.  Nicholas had tons of fun, despite the chilly and cloudy weather!

Jonathan's doing his usual Sunday evening cooking as I type, so there will hopefully be another food post soon! 

a graduation card

I made this card for Cristina's (Nicholas' nanny's) daughter, who is graduating from high school this weekend.  I actually created something similar for Leah's grad (featuring pink, since our present theme was "Legally Blonde"), but figured out a couple cool things this time around...    

I colored in the cap with a Souffle pen first, and then filled it in with Martha Stewart's Glitter Flocking Powder in a very similar color.  It created a nice 3D effect!  I  learned that those flocking powders have the most impact when using on a similarly colored surface.  Then a little dot of glitter glue and voila!

I am so not a fan of my handwriting, so I traced the words on the inside of the card directly from the computer screen.  I actually first used a Martha Stewart glitter pen, but then I decided to emboss a few stars on each side of the wording.  In the process, I ended up inadvertently embossing over the glitter pen but really liked how it came out.

Nicholas was also feeling crafty today with his new markers....

Salmon Cakes

On Sunday, we made Easy Salmon Cakes from America's Test Kitchen.  Nicholas loves salmon cakes and we thought it would be much more economical than purchasing them from the prepared foods section.

We subbed greek yogurt for the mayo!  Yum!

Fresh Copper River Sockeye salmon filet from Costco for only $12.99/lb!  Beautiful color!

We learned that Copper River is in Alaska.  The sockeye season runs May through July-ish.

So the link to the recipe is above in the first paragraph.  (I've learned that if you don't "create" the recipe yourself, it's not cool to write out the whole recipe on your blog.  It is in much better form to link readers to the original source/site so they get the traffic.  Why do they want the traffic?  Probably because of advertising revenue!)  The couple of modifications we made were:  greek yogurt instead of mayo and we stuck them in oven for a few minutes to finish cooking.  For mommy and daddy, the salmon cakes were accompanied by some Old Bay fingerlings (I just sprinkled some Old Bay and olive oil on sliced fingerlings and baked for about 20 mins...).  It was 9pm by now and I was hungry, so no pics of them! 

Weekend Recap

We had a busy weekend!  On Saturday, we went to an open house at Peekadoodle, and indoor playspace in Ghirardelli Square geared towards kids Nicholas' age.  He was in heaven. 

On Sunday morning, we made an early trip to Devil's Teeth, a bakery in the Outer Sunset that I have had on my "to-do" list for a while.  They make beignets on Sundays only and WOW, are they delish!  We also got a couple of their delectable breakfast sandwiches that are to-die for.

After breakfast, we monkeyed around and then headed to a playgroup at the Fulton playground with 5 or 6 other families.  Nicholas especially enjoyed playing with Burly, the black lab.

Then we (Nicholas and Dada) napped and headed to swim class.  It is such a special feeling as a parent to see your child over-the-moon happy, which Nicholas was today in the pool!

After swimming, we did our Sunday shopping.  Nicholas is really a boy after his daddy's heart....he LOVES shopping and cooking!  Here he is in his favorite part of the store, the freezer aisle.....(his second fave is the dog food aisle - he loves the Milkbone boxes!)