As this year's Honored Hero, I was invited to give a speech this morning at the Corporate Breakfast for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I was so glad to be out of the hospital and able to attend! This breakfast hosts potential local corporate sponsors for the Light the Night Walk in September, in the hopes that these companies will form teams (these teams are usually very successful fundraisers). I was asked to share my experience with Lymphoma and my speech is below:
I am Caitlin Mullinix and I am probably not that different from you. I grew up in the suburbs of New York, went to a small liberal arts college, got a graduate degree in hospitality (and met my husband in the process), and we moved to the Bay Area to start our lives. In 2011, we felt like life was really beginning for us…..we were going to have our own little family. I was pregnant and due in September. I had an unproblematic pregnancy and, even though it ended in a c-section, we had a healthy baby that we named Nicholas. The early days at home with Nicholas were full of the typical baby-related challenges, as we had expected. But things didn’t get easier as the days passed. I experienced what I thought were complications from the c-section and pregnancy….fevers, night sweats, shortness of breath. And boy, was I tired. But I had a newborn, and I figured, “so this is what everyone is talking about!”
After several visits with my OB, my symptoms eventually landed me in the emergency room. A battery of tests ensued, which revealed an enormous mass in my chest. No wonder it was so hard to breathe when baby Nicholas rested on my chest. The mass was biopsied immediately, but the surgery proved to be too stressful for my already strained system. I wasn’t breathing well during surgery, so I was placed on a ventilator and stayed in the ICU for a week.
Nicholas was four weeks old when I found out I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Doctors began chemo immediately – my first treatment took place when I was asleep under the power of the ventilator. When I woke up, reality sunk in. I had cancer. What a frightening word. Cancer is something that happens to other people, not to me. I was only 32. I had a new baby that needed me. I had to return to work. I had plans. This was not my plan. But, everyone emphasized that this was a good cancer to get. It was highly treatable. I’d be free of it and move on with my plans.
For the next 6 months, I underwent the standard treatment for my disease. Maternity leave from work became disability leave. Family and friends came from all parts of the world to take care of me, and my husband, and baby Nicholas. While I had this beautiful little boy to adore during this really tough time, we did have to hire a nanny because I didn’t have the energy to be a full-time mommy. I also had to spend lots of time at the infusion center.
The switch from doing the caring to being cared for was emotionally very difficult. I was supposed to be the nurturing one. For nine months, I had been “becoming” a mom. Now, I was back in the arms of my own. And even though I had all this support around me, I couldn’t help but feel alone. Although Lymphoma is the most common cancer among young adults, I felt so isolated because of it.
After six months of treatment, it became clear that my disease was unusually aggressive. It turns out that my Hodgkin’s wasn’t the easy kind to get rid of. I transferred from CPMC to UCSF and met with Dr. Andreadis. During the next six months, we attempted several more chemo regimens in an effort to reduce the amount of disease in my body, but nothing worked very well.
Finally, in October of last year, I had a stem cell transplant at UCSF. My sister, who is three years younger than I, donated her stem cells to me. Life stopped for all of us, not just me. She had to leave for a week from her final year in law and business school (not easy), to come out West. My mom came for the month that I was in the hospital and was with me there every day. My husband became both mommy and daddy to Nicholas. My in-laws came from Singapore to help. And my mother-in-law came for several months and moved into our home to be my caretaker after transplant. After being released from the hospital, I was under house arrest for a few months. I really only left to go to the clinic twice a week. My immune system was as fresh as a newborn’s and the exposure to germs in the outside world was just too risky.
The transplant was successful in that my body has, so far, accepted my sister’s cells. Some disease did manage to rear its ugly head in the months afterwards, so Dr. Andreadis has me on a brand new drug to the Hodgkin’s game in an effort to keep the disease under control until my new cells are strong enough to fight on their own. The hope is that in these next few months, my sister’s healthy cells will take over and kill those wicked Lymphoma cells that are left in my body.
Personally facing cancer opened our eyes that it can really happen to anyone. And in July of last year, it happened to our family again. My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and is now himself battling the disease. When you are healthy, cancer is just something that you hear about, read about, and see in movies. But when you yourself get sick, you find out that it’s actually all around.
I am hopeful that my cancer will go away completely. And that my dad’s will too. But our fear of cancer will never fade away. Until there is a cure, there is always uncertainty. In the meantime, we’ve learned that life does go on. Cancer just becomes part of it, some days more than others.
We always talk about cancer being cured someday. Let’s make someday today, for all of us. Please make a commitment to fighting cancers today by putting on the red blood drop pin at your place setting. It is a symbol that together, we are committed to finding cures. I hope as you go about your day today and people ask you about your pin, you’ll share what you’ve learned here today.
We brought Nicholas with us. He was very chatty and active during the 45 minute presentation, so unfortunately Jonathan had to be out of the room during my speech (Nicholas actually wanted to be up at the podium with me). But he was able to snap a few pics beforehand!
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| Nicholas wearing "Da da's" shirt |
